MATCH REPORT: Dartfordians Lemons vs. Faversham – A Battle of Angles and Ankle Injuries

It was a crisp, cold day in Kent—ideal for rugby, less so for exposed ears and fingers. The Dartfordians Lemons traveled to Faversham, where they were met not only by a determined opposition but also by a pitch that seemed to have been designed by M.C. Escher. One half was a pleasant, rolling expanse; the other, a treacherous incline that left players questioning their life choices.

A Dominant Start (Despite the Slopes)

The Lemons began with real intent, immediately pinning Faversham back and receding (or was it receiving?) several penalties. With the forwards in full marauding mode, Lloyd powered over for the first try following a mighty maul, setting the tone for a battle up front. Not to be outdone, Captain John O'Brien followed suit, crashing over for another try off a dominant maul—proving that if it worked once, it was worth doing again.

Despite the Lemons’ control, they were cursed by the rugby gods (or perhaps by the local groundskeeper), failing to turn constant pressure into further points. Just before halftime, Faversham took their one clear chance and dotted down, making it 19-7 at the break—closer than it should have been.

Faversham’s Fightback

The second half began with a horror-movie twist: just when the Lemons thought they were safe, Faversham came back from the dead, scoring two quick tries. A match that had looked under control was suddenly on the verge of slipping away. But the Lemons, much like their namesake fruit, refused to go soft. Stan, with all the grace of a man running down a steep hill, crossed the line to secure the all-important bonus point try.

Joe Carey, Lloyd, and Ferret put in immense shifts, while out-half Mike Brent directed traffic with all the calm of a man who didn’t realize he was playing on the side of a cliff. Paddy Adams had an excellent start before his body betrayed him, while Tom Garrett—perhaps still navigating Kent’s backroads—arrived fashionably late but made an impact nonetheless.

Wingers, sadly, were left to contemplate life’s mysteries as the ball rarely found them, while fullback Navi put in a classic performance: strong, abusive (in the friendly rugby sense, we hope), and as slippery as ever.

The Final Word

With time running out and Faversham still a threat, Captain O'Brien made a bold call for a penalty. Brent obliged, slotting the kick to put the Lemons 8 points clear and ensuring a well-earned victory.

Final score: Lemons win with a bonus point, locking down third place in the league. A fine day’s work, if you discount the frostbite and the occasional moments of existential dread when tackling downhill